Internet Ads Disturbing Tendency To Depreciate Moms

The story of advertising on the Internet is a long and interesting one. (No hyperlink... seems like a good place for one, though.)

First there were pop-ups that just sprang out of nowhere like a voracious jungle cat waiting to shove its materialistic fangs into your soft, warm, consumerist jugular. Then there were those banner adverts that would flash really brightly and claim you were the millionth person to visit the site and you'd just won a WiiPlayBox360 III and all you had to do was sign up for a subscription to Redbook and forward something to ten other people.
Then things for a little more sophisticated and suddenly we had poorly rendered men, women, aliens, and other human figures doing the cha-cha-shuffle because they were so happy that Mortgage Rates Were At There Lowest Since The Birth Of Christ!

Now we have entered a new golden age of idiot-baiting marketing on the net where we see pictures of yellow teeth juxtaposed against pictures of the same teeth photoshopped to be white. Or some fat, bloated, distended stomach juxtaposed against abs carved of marble. Such stunning results!
So once your eyes have been drawn in by these dramatic transformations you look down to read the tagline:
"Discover the teeth whitening tip discovered by a mom!"
A mom, seriously? Wow, good for her!
"D.C. Mom Loses 47 Lbs. a month by following this 1 Old Rule!"
Another mom, huh? That's pretty impressive...wait, 47 pounds? Is that healthy? And if the rule is so old why don't I know about it? Was it lost to time? Is she Indiana Jones' wife?
"Mom's are making unholy amounts of money using Google!"
...ok, I think the Internet just developed an Oedipal complex.

Now, I can see why this whole approach seems to make sense in a very general sense. I mean, honestly, you listened to your mom when she said all kinds of insane shit to you when you were younger (e.g. "Don't make faces, or your face will freeze that way") so why stop now? Leeches for whiter teeth? If you say so, ma.
Also, the word "mom" makes you think of some kindly old woman sitting at home who chances upon a world-altering discovery. The underdog sticking one to The Man. Well you know what, establishment? Guess who The Man is now! (Hint)

But the problem is this - you're using the idea of a mom to insight in the reader the idea that any idiot with a brain the size of a frog's and two opposable thumbs can do what this person did.
She's a mom! Mom's are pretty worthless, right? Sitting around all day doing nothing, no education. Why else would they marry and have kids? Mom's aren't real people. Real people have titles like "doctor" and "king." I mean, hell, if some tramp who pushed out a kid can lose weight and make money and have a smile as white as a Victorian woman's ankles, you should be able to as well, right? I mean, you actually graduated college, right?

I am so offended right now

See what I mean? I'm all for using the "regular joe" approach to marketing, but can we lay off the moms? Why not say that a "recent college grad" or a "person with an MFA" discovered something. Those are the really worthless individuals. Those are the people who truly have no accomplishments to their names.

The thing is, I have a mother who was once a teacher and also worked in a doctor's office. She knows more about medicine than many people I know, so if she invented a cure for the common cold I'd be more "Well I saw that coming" than "Holy hell, seriously?"

I just googled this type of thing and found the following quote: "I'm not a dentist, doctor or medical expert, I'm just a mom."
A mom is not someone whose sole purpose in life is to act as a birther and caretaker. These are women who have done great things and who are probably still doing them. They're not sitting at their home everyday eagerly awaiting the moment their kids and husbands get home so that can prostrate themselves before the feet of their masters. The term "just a mom" should never be uttered.
Sarah Connor was "just a mom," and she averted the Apocalypse, for Christ's Sake.

These ads smack of all kinds of thickness on the parts of their makers. A sense of superiority and sexism. They are base, degrading, and vaguely offensive. So screw you, Internet. I'm gonna start drinking coffee and rubbing coal on my gums just so my yellow teeth will stand as testaments against your mom-bashing ways!

And also, these ads usually come in threes. So I am expected to believe three different moms discovered three different amazing or previously forgotten things, and then all went straight to the Internet? That's just bad planning. Really.